Let-Down

went out w Cuzen tdy ..
JunKorKor <3 , was at westCoast while i was a vivo .
asked me go over , i agreed .
told mum , she said can .

awhile later she say thought you want go home Than when going off, i asked her if we going westcoast ,
she said yea .

when we walked to carpark,
she say i got say ma !

i than.. Felt So torn apart..
stayed in toilet and cry-ed.

later Junkorkor sms me said if want go eat togther .
i was instantly happy..
i agreed than told mum i going down eat ..
she say Dontwant . too late . later i get more cold.

lock myself in room cry agan .
i let-him down .. not only him , th people waiting..
than my mum came in . i faster wipe my tears ..
she said , i thought you going?
I FEEL SO STUPID .
I JUST WANNA CRY.
WANNA DIE.
YOUR SO IMPORTANT TO ME BUT ..
i feel so useless i cant even be there i wanna be next to you..
But i cant ! THEERS ALWAYS SOMETHING STOPPING YOU.
my heart hurts so much ..
My spirit died .
i dont know if you would love me even when i cnt be there for you..
even when i asked you to wait.. and i couldnt come I want to let you know..
iLoveYou
And i cant live...
seeing you love someone else..
im crying .. my keyboard is wet..
my heart.. is broken ..
i just want you..
i dont mind running away from home just to be next to you ..


i wish you love-d me th way i love you